Confessions of a faux flower shopper

Perhaps it’s my inner hippie girl speaking, but I’ve always been a sucker for flowers. I’ll never forget when Volkswagen brought back the Beetle; I was a 12-year-old girl with zero interest in makes and models of cars, but this new Beetle, I loved — largely because it came fully equipped with a small plastic vase to the right of the steering wheel, just waiting to hold a handful of fresh-cut daisies. I vowed to get one the day I turned 16. I didn’t, though sometimes when I’m zipping around town in my little black Focus, I think about how great it would look with a few blooms near the dash.

I’d like to say that my childhood love of flowers has grown into a zeal for gardening, but unfortunately that’s not the case. I did give three flower boxes the old college try last summer, but my poor blooms were fried by the middle of August. I’m a bit more proficient when it comes to indoor bouquets (I’ve learned to milk a grocery store bouquet for a solid two weeks). But once fall and winter hit, we spend so much time traveling for holidays, it’s hard to keep the flowers, well, living.

But I love, love, love walking through the front door after a weekend away and seeing a vase full of hydrangeas on the table and a bunch of tulips in the kitchen. You can’t fake that kind of happiness. Or can you? I know, I know, some of you are rolling your eyes at the idea of fake flowers, but like most things in life, there are hits and misses. Faux flowers (doesn’t faux sound so much classier?) can seem amazingly real; you just need to know what you’re looking for. Here are some things I try to keep in mind:

Wait, what color is that? I’m all for a little neon in my life — just not when it comes to flowers. My first rule of thumb is that if you can’t find the color growing in nature, you’re probably not fooling anyone. Luckily, nature is filled with tons of loveliness all on its own, so there’s no shortage of colors to choose from.

Try monochromatic. I was watching the Nate Berkus Show a few days ago, and he mentioned that he always goes monochromatic when assembling flowers (real or faux) because it just looks a little nicer. I’m right with you, Nate. Ideally, flowers add a pop of life to the room without becoming too distracting. And if you’re using faux flowers, the last thing you want is for all eyes to be transfixed by your rainbow bouquet. A monochromatic arrangement is pretty and classic — kind of a non-statement statement, if you will.

Yes, you can touch it. In the search for faux flowers, texture is key. Great stems will have a little softness to them, maybe a velvety feel or bumps and ridges, depending on the bloom. Keep in mind that if it looks and feels super plastic-y, you can do better.

Cut yourself some slack. Odds are, no matter how real your faux flowers look, your friends will eventually realize they’re phony bologna. That’s OK! The idea is to assemble the loveliest arrangement you can without using the real thing. Few fake flowers will ever pass the feel test; and none will pass the smell test. So cut yourself some slack! They’re adorable, and you love them. ‘Nuff said.

So what’s your rule of thumb when it comes to faux flowers? Are you a real-or-nothing kind of decorator, or do you fake it now and then? Any tips or tricks you like to share? Do tell!

XO,
Katrina