Consider the following correspondence, unearthed from an archive of never-been-printed-but-could-have-changed-the-culinary-world-as-we-know-it advice columns: Dear Abby, Lately we’ve been feeling quite misunderstood. Every time we try to make new friends, we’re met with crinkled noses and rejection. Is it us? Are we not sweet enough? Not pretty enough? People love our smaller cousins; they’re always invited to…